"Mama, Potty!"

Isn't this the opposite of what one might expect in the area of toilet training?

As previously mentioned, although Anneka uses the potty (or the toilet) a lot, she often wets her diaper during the day - probably she's too preoccupied to stop what she's doing for a bathroom trip. However, after five months of pretty solid nights we are now experiencing the occasional night wake up again, and frequent early mornings (5:45 this morning!).

The reason seems to be..."mama, ahhh, potty, ummm, potty, mama potty, dada" etc. At 12:30 last night I was awakened to the string of "potty talk". Boy did she have to pee, and that's one heck of a bladder! Previously, at dinner, she had slurped back her miso soup as well as much of mine and consumed a lot of "juice" (water slightly tinted with apple juice) and to top it all off, a couple of quite full boobies.

If Anneka wants to pee in her diaper in the middle of the night instead of getting up, I'm completely supportive. If she would rather use the potty, how can I deny her. So I'm willing to take her to the potty.

The part that is hard is the early mornings. I can't believe she has a dry diaper after nine or ten hours of sleep. That's gotta hurt! I don't mind taking her to the potty in the morning. It's all part of the program. But, I wish going back to sleep was also written in the script. Annie, if it's before 6:30 and you didn't go to bed until 8:00, would you please go back to sleep? Please?

This morning I tried to nurse and nurse her to sleep, I tried to rub her back, I tried cuddling, I tried pretending I was asleep, I tried pleading, I tried reasoning. I tried getting angry (that wasn't hard, I felt angry). She only laughed. I tried to be really stern and serious. It didn't work.

Finally, I tried to ignore her and really go back to sleep. "Mama, potty." I opened one eye to see her bright eyes staring down at me. From her expression, it was clear she really had to go...poo.

Up we get! Yay, mornings!

And now to totally change the subject, or rather for the opportunity to post some photos, I'll mention that yesterday was the first day of March that I worked! That is one of the perks of being a substitute teacher - I don't HAVE to go to work. So we had a lot of fun in March and here we are at one of a few dinner parties we had in Victoria. For the record, if I get a call tomorrow morning at 6:30 I will go to work. And why not? I'll be awake anyway.

Patting Myself on the Back

I don't pretend that everything has come naturally for me in the realm of motherhood - there has been lots I have struggled with, but so far, potty training is not one of them. I prefer to write publicly about the successes; it helps to ease the difficulties. And if anyone can learn from something we have actually done right (so far) then all the better.

On second thought, we have not even come close to our expectations in this area - we had some intention of going diaper-free - but with all the newness, we quickly let go of that idea and just decided to use cloth a lot. Maybe on round two we will be more ready for the diaper-free method (or a less stringent variation of it). But what we have done this time is working.

So what did we do?

At 6 months, it occurred to the shopaholic in me to buy a little potty - they were so cute and I really liked the green one. Anneka could definitely sit well and I often knew when she was pooping - usually in the midst of nursing. The next time I caught her in the act I put her on the potty. It worked. I barely remember, but I think I started putting her on the potty at times when I thought she may have to go, or it was convenient - a while after a big feed, before bath, when she first woke from a nap or in the morning. She often went pee in the potty. Of course we made a big deal about it.

I never felt any need to push it, just thought I'd let it evolve naturally. But, the awareness was there for her early. There was a little hurdle where (maybe around 14 months?) she started not wanting to sit on the potty and making a big protest. I didn't push too hard, but did come up with ways of getting her to sit there - playing with the rock and shell collection, reading books, even nursing when nothing else would work! We got through that hurdle.

With the onset of new words came her describing what she had done, starting with "poo". She even would tell us occasionally when she had to go. Later the words "pee" and "potty" developed..and "diaper". At 18 months Anneka isn't potty trained, but she often does ask for the potty, and uses the potty - at least once a day. When she's really into it much more often, and almost always at bedtime and first thing in the morning (in fact, it has become one of her methods of procrastinating sleep, and it is often hard to know when it is legitimate). She likes it when I tell her she is not a baby, but a big girl for using the potty and she often calls herself a "good girl" for going! She has come home with numerous stickers for using the potty on her daycare day.

So, I know things can change, but I think Anneka has made great progress in this area and the best part is it has just evolved naturally without battles.

Now, I have some real ranting to do about some other behaviours but I will save that for the next post. There are so many fun things about this age, but there are many frustrating things too. My Mum says the "terrible twos" actually start around 18 months, and I think Anneka's recent behaviour is a testament to that. Until next time...

Four Busy Months

It's been four busy months, but I'm not done yet!

I've been meaning to close this blog, close it with a nice, warm, funny closing kind of post - one I'd look back on with a feeling of satisfaction. But, I'm not really done yet. I'm not really sure where I want to go from here, but I'm not ready to stop.

But I am done for this post. Let me see if I can find a picture to fill this post, since I'm lacking in a singular thought to flow with, and I'm sure no one wants to read a ramble.

...

Here is a picture from "Granpa's Corner". This is "Kaka" or sometimes "Aka".

And another. Here's "Mamma" and "Kaka".


Until, I feel the words begin to flow...

Her Indian Name

...would be "Joy"

(I hope my First Nations friends won't mind me co-opting their culture for my own enjoyment in this way.)

If I could choose one word to describe you, Anneka, I would have a very hard time, but, if I had to, I'd have to choose "joyous". To me, your true nature seems light, fun, open, and kind. I think you have a light, happy soul.

Happiness is the first wish I wish for you. If happiness comes from within, then you are very blessed to be starting life from a good space.

May all who encounter my daughter take care with her light, open, beautiful soul.

Full Circle

Fourteen months is a very exciting time in the life of a young one. A year is symbolically a huge milestone, but I think, in reality, fourteen months brings with it a whole lot of big changes. Anneka, your initials are AW which in your case could stand for "awesome winner".

At fourteen months you are both a baby and a little girl. You are learning things rapidly and are very, very pleased with all your new found capabilities. After you do something "clever" you clap your hands. Examples of "clever", are stacking and nesting all your bath toys inside one another after a bath, making wooden block towers as high as SIX blocks (clapping after each subsequent block), playing peek-a-boo in the doorway with us (you're the one doing the peeking and saying "boo").


To keep busy on these rainy days we have been going to the pool, to "Little Sneakers Gym" at the rec centre and toddler storytime at the library. We have also been getting together with friends and going to Bambeano's Cafe.


You are very good and quite fast on your feet now, you are mimicking all kinds of animal sounds and you say a handful of words frequently. You went through a screeching phase when you wanted something, but now I tell you to "ask nicely" and you say "up", sign for "milk" or "more", sign and say "done", or just stop yelling and look to me for assistance. These are just a few of the big girl things that you do, but I want to concentrate on the baby things because they are disappearing faster than I would like. For example, last night when I was nursing you in the dark in the comfy chair in your room before bed, you kept trying to climb down and were asking for "Da" (daddy). I called Paul, who came in and quickly put you to sleep in your crib. That's a real first, and it makes me a little sad, but also happy for you and Paul and for a bit more freedom.

I have also night weaned you....for now anyway. None of us were getting enough sleep anymore. I don't really want to go back to night time feedings, but we will be travelling with Gramma, Char and Amelia to Mexico soon and all sharing a room, so it may happen. Along with ending night time feedings has come you spending the whole night in your own bed. To get to this point only took a few nights. It did take some crying (not really very much), which I still don't feel great about, but I do feel good about you getting more sleep. I guess I just don't know what is "right" in these situations, and sometimes my intuition gets blured. Although the last three nights you have slept right through more than 11 hours, I still am waking at 5:30 (expecting you to wake up) and listening for you. One morning I heard a bit of crying and was about to get up but you just went right back to sleep. I guess you are ready for this, but it will take me awhile to fully relax in the mornings and go back to sleep. What makes me kind of sad is that we don't seem to be able to sleep together anymore. If I bring you into bed in the early morning, you just want to play. I guess we need a trip away so we HAVE to spend all night sharing our sleep. I really want to get to the point where we can sleep together without nursing in the night and I plan on tackling this at your Gramma's this week when we visit Victoria. I hope we don't keep everyone up!

I have no intention of fully weaning you anytime soon. I still happily nurse you before naps and most any other time unless you start treating me as a snack bar in public which I am beginning to put my foot down about. People ask me how long I plan on nursing. The truth is, I have no plan, and have no desire to quit. I think I will let you self wean from your morning, day-time and before-bed feeds. When we are away from eachother at these times, you seem to beable to make do.

You are so much fun right now, but truth be told, I am really missing you as an infant. Last night I started playing all your lullaby and baby music again and it is taking me right back to that time - right back to last winter. I am reminded of the song "Circle Game" by Jonie Mitchell. You seemed to remember these songs too as I cuddled you and danced you around the house. I am even romanticizing the tired evenings rocking and holding and nursing you, and the tired mornings of trying to get things done in the kitchen with you in the sling. Oh, the sentimental, nostalgic Mummy is alive and well today! Must be the season. I think I'll go listen to a little Joni Mitchell.

Hoppy Hallowe'en

I just wanted to take the opportunity to post some early Hallowe'en of my favourite purple sleeping bunny. Why do I think this bunny is so cool? Here are a few reasons:

This bunny loves to smile and laugh.
This bunny is so expressive.
This bunny gives the best hugs.
This bunny loves to play games.
This bunny loves to sing and dance.
This bunny is full of mischief.
This bunny has a great sense of humor.
This bunny is so friendly.
This bunny is quite determined and persistent.
This bunny is overjoyed whenever she learns something new.
This bunny doesn't think anything is worth missing.
This bunny listens well.
This bunny still wants to please her mam.
This bunny is so damn cute.

Breaking the Rules

Well, someone's rules, that is - apparently not my own.

Sleep training 101:

#1 be consistent
#2 don't send mixed messages
#3 be more stubborn than your child
#4 don't cave

Let me first say, I don't really subscribe to the above, but like to joke about the stubborn part - it's partly true. If you peruse my blog you'll discover that our sleep habits have been to mostly cuddle, soothe, and nurse at all hours and generally not sleep as well or as much as we'd like to. There has been (roughly) a 30/70% good sleep/not so good sleep ratio.

At a year of age, some might say, ENOUGH. We did. The timing seemed right and our stubborn child complied quite easily and quite quietly. We were thrilled. Well mostly, although I was mourning some of the intimacy. She seemed to thrive too on the full night sleeps, and we didn't even have to do the full on sleep training thing which I doubt we could pull off anyway.

There were a couple of rough spots. Some slightly early wakings and trying to be consistent at having her to fall back to sleep on her own when she was tired but not that tired and battling my motherly instinct to just go and friggin' nurse the poor thing.

But the occasional doubt aside, she was pulling 10 to even 11 hour nights almost all the time for almost a month. And napping was going OK too. And her energy levels and wake windows were improved as well.

God dammit, this actually works!

But this morning I broke the rules. All four of them. Maybe she has diarrhea? Maybe she's teething hard? Maybe she just really needs a cuddle? Am I harming her emotionally by leaving her? At 6:30, after half an hour of wimpering and not falling back to sleep, I retrieved, I cuddled, I nursed, we slept in together. It was lovely.

She does have some diarrhea and is likely working on tooth number 13, and I just cuddled her until she fell asleep before her nap. It was so sweet. I guess I'm backpedaling...for now. I'll probably pay.

Here is a gratuitous Annekie photo. I love my baby!


This is about a month old, I guess I need to start snapping.